Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
