This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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