Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
