I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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