I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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