from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
