I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
