u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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