dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize