so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
You can't motorboat a personality
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
