he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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