hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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