I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
