so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
