So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
