i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Randomize
