i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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