And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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