I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
