she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
is wine microwaveable?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
