the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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