Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
