just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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