I wanna bring you to show and tell
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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