I only kidnapped one of them. chill
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
