Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
