i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
