the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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