My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
is it fun? or sober?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
