I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Who put my cat in the fridge?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
