My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
