Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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