yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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