I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
