Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
