There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
