So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I can't put those talents on a resume
be right there i have to get my cape
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
