I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
