i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Sober January is a disaster.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize