I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
They have beer where we have blood.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
