At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
