You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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