we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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