Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Are we still banned from the library?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Hello my rib-scented angel!
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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