I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
