I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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