Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
