what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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