she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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