3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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