I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
i am craving dick and cupcakes
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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