Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
