today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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