I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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