I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
