She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
