He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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