We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
