i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
send nudes
from the living room?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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