the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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