Who wears a wallet chain?!
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
