you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
