just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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