Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
