I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
