I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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