last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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