I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
