..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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