I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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